The following is the complete Paragonic Law in its entirety first written by Sogolon the Protector, translated from the original Ancient Vabbian to Common by Master Librarian Antohneoss.
Article 1[]
In which is discussed Proper Behavior towards comrades, untouchables, and other.
Article 1-I[]
When first greeted by a comrade, one should do everything in their power to garner a favorable relationship, in case of the need of assistance, or so that the comrade will feel comfortable coming to you in times of need.
When greeted by a long known comrade, one should hug, or do some of that silly shit that the newbies are all coming up with [2].
Article 1-II[]
When confronted by such untouchables as aggressive creatures, one should first see to the health of their comrades, and then should dispatch with post haste.
However, if a untouchable is to surrender, it is acceptable to be merciful, however mercy should be used on a case to case basis and should not be ceilinged [3].
Article 1-III[]
Personal transgression should be used when confronted by persons or creatures who do not fall under either of these labels.
Article 2[]
In which is discussed Proper Weaponry, acquiring, upkeep, and disposal of said, as well as other.
Article 2-I[]
Proper Weaponry for a Paragon should include one light spear, individually fitted, and one shield, large enough to provide adequate protection, yet small enough to be usable.
Article 2-II[]
Pertaining your induction into the Paragons, you have been assigned a basic spear and shield, one can acquire greater items through purchasing them off of the local citizenary, salvaging such items from untouchables, or trading small collectibles.
However, one can also go out into the world and attempt to slay a corrupted [4], and gather their spear for use. This is highly advised against as many corrupted carry spears of little acclaim or use.
Article 2-III[]
One should keep their spear and shield in top conditions, whether it be by honing the edge, or repairing damages, the high quality of such items is essential.
Article 2-IV[]
If one finds that they no longer needs such weaponry, the most common task is to sell it to a merchant who can reuse it or scrap it, however sometimes it is better to simply leave it somewhere for some other Paragon to find.
Article 2-V[]
No Paragon shall be permitted to wield any item other then those mentioned here.
Article 3[]
In which is discussed Proper armor quality, reasonings, other, unmentionables, and Nipples.
Article 3-I[]
All armor should protect the upper body, fore arms, groin region, and shins. Especially the Shins [5].
Article 3-II[]
All paragons should only wear armor or clothing that does nothing to conceal their nature. As such skirts and nipples are in great effect as they can either be easily examined, or obvious to ones nature.
Article 3-III[]
Visually impaired Paragons are permitted glasses, however usually a head crest is preferred. Blindfolds are discouraged.
Article 3-IV[]
All Paragons should wear clean protective underwear that must be washed and changed at least twice a day [6].
Article 3-V[]
Nipples should appear on all of a Paragon's armor, this is to show the natural fealty and servitude of the Paragon [7].
Article 3-VI[]
The stomach area of male Paragon's should be fully exposed at all times to promote good digestion and breathing. This is especially important to Paragons that choose to support their allies through song and interpretive dance.
Article 4[]
In which is discussed Angels.
Article 4-I[]
Angels are all a load of harpey dung if you ask me, WHAT? Whatd'ya mean I have wings on me back?!? Gerr em off! Gerr em off! [8]
Notes from the Translator[]
- ↑ One of the most referred to sections
- ↑ Literal translation, Sogolon was quite old when he originally wrote the Laws.
- ↑ Umbrellas hadn't been invented yet.
- ↑ A Corrupted is any Paragon that has strayed from the Laws.
- ↑ Sogolon was believed to have very tender and easily bruised shins.
- ↑ Sogolon was also believed to be mildly Obsessive Compulsive.
- ↑ FACT: Sogolon was a PERVERT.
- ↑ This last article was added on the night Sogolon died from Alcohol Poisoning, it is believed that he was intoxicated at the time.