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I have to say that this real life changing event sadly had gotten poor responses in the gaming world that I had never expected at all...  I knew this person was getting tired of my style of "capes" or choice of words, much less mtsc. Majority wanted us both to stay together as co-leaders. they liked this... When one was inactive - the other was active. It just tension happens and often deals from real life. I had respected her of her real life and gave her time if she needed it... However, I just feel like that was not the case with me.  I knew an event that happened with this "A. M." thing and her involvement. I would no doubt feel what she felt... I just hope she held no jealousy, but I feared she did in some ways... She was hostile a bit towards my husband who's played the game - even if he never deserved it to be honest. He can get a bit out there in joking, etc. even the people she thought he offended. knew he was joking...

that became... a problem to me - the assumptions. I tolerated enough from her, but no one ever knew the truth or what went on that she did indirectly try to destory the guild, whether she claims it or not. Which I know she'd be defensive on this... The facts are still there and were there... She told me a few times she wanted to lead. I wanted to quit leading. I offered her the guild. Cause I knew, even if she left and that people knew - they'd follow her.

It was not really about me getting gwam or much to do with gaming on my reasoning. At that time I had gotten badly infected...  Over 60ccs worth of infection... I had to take antibiotics for it and I learned that it was indeed in my bloodstream.. had i waited from Nov. 20th of that year to dec. 4th... I probably woudln't have been here. I feared of how antibiotics would do, because so many never have worked with the infections in my teeth...  I never try to show that I worry or fear things. I rarely do.  this though is a message to the world. Please, if you get infections, go as soon as possible and get it taken care of. Do not try to wait, like I tried... had I known, I would have gotten help sooner.  I would have probably been able to attend my daughter's thanksgiving program that she had and the only one they ever do there... So, it will forever sadden me that I missed out.

This is why I stress that real life is really more important than any game or anything.  I cannot take things back. I can only live with it and move on.

this was my hopes with the game - cause I knew though she had a child to take care of with special needs. :-( (I always pray on that - yes I do pray and have faith. mine is my own and I prefer not to share.) she had good officers there. officers we both picked that I know are still good officers to this day that are with her in one of her new guilds. However... she does not know what i do. what i hear. .. I know who badmouthed Trek... Sadly, she may not "care", but bad reputations can destroy guilds, friendships, etc. And I'm being honest. I have heard from many others on her current guilds. how she afks alot (which I understand. I am a parent and real life should be first)... that it's mostly the officers that runs the guilds. I know people... I know many that prefer leader activity (more than I've heard) and so these people do see guilds that has it. I can't blame that one bit. A leader is like the grand parent who helps the parents (officers) and the children (members) so to speak. it's hard to explain, but it's like a guild of as a friend once said. "familie" I can concour with that and I so feel this. 

It's just the fall of things happened... A friend was joking - as I had a baby girl asleep on me (not on the surgery side thank goodness) and I kind of joked wanting to play a bit, but was like I'd pass. he told husband to take her to bed, she had just fallen asleep. Husband has no hard feelings with this person and talked it out later as I suggested between the two. they're decent friends, you could say.    I just told all involved to chill out, stop, etc. and it was ended... My co-lead went into poor / bad assumption mode - called husband a Jerk - which was uncalled for and many that aren't in her guilds left until new ownership has the guild - or went else where - I still see them. some are in this guild and refuse anything to do with her.  She does not know how badly she had screwed things up with that attitude and the way she had acted... (not the first time and not the last)....  Had she just really read everything with a clear mind. she'd seen it was solved.  I felt like she had no faith in me anymore either. It was either her way or the high way - which she took the highway anyway and left.  She created her guilds - many followed mostly the officers, because of what they did know. they still try to remain friends with me and I do honor that.

I just won't forgive her for that day and her attitude, because she's never appologized. she doesn't think she has to, but she destroyed The guild - the very thing she "promised" she wouldn't do.  that to me is a bold face lie... and when you lie, backstab, etc. you become like other bad people do and are in the game... It's negativity and like I've seen... it feeds... People notice and though I did try to help her with her alternate guild... No one would join it. People know, word travels in a small game. Not that many are going to fall for things.

I even helped her with a rouge person that was being ugly in her guild... and she turns around and does exactly what this person did to her - to me...  She had gotten 3 accounts. two were leading guilds, by this time I was officer in gwam.. ugh...  let's just say I'm going to finish that up in a sec.   She litterly got mad cause i wasn't paying attention to the guild chat or alliance chat. I am just going to say - had enough of the guild and ally drama.  i was going to leave soon anyway and I DID Mention this to her...  She in turned blamed me for not telling her of the guilds, etc. which was as much as a suprise to me as many others...  I stayed a week and then i left, but not before I got her removed - what she did was uncalled for never once asking, but only PURE assumptions and I was some how the bad person... I'm not ever going to be in that if i can help it.

The guild... When I joined, I was under the impression that it'd help me finish and get the max on titles so i'd get the "max" title of the game... that was supposidely one of the "promises" suddenly it went from that to altriumns. I told that I didnt join for it to be a faction farming guild / alliance really... but it was clearly heading that way and so I thought with what I knew - I'd help the person get what I felt out of two potential alliances of being the best one... Sadly the person took the lesser of the two and has since ruined guilds that has joined her alliance. People don't like her either. I don't blame them one bit. However, does not justify the spikes here lately.

Anyway... I felt backstabbed by this person as well... lied to... I tried to help form an ally with what current ally still actually holds hzh...  and I felt treated like dirt, put as a leader for a weekeend w/out asking when I neeeded real life. it wasn't easy. >.< it made me irritated. So I won't ever join this person's guild again for sure, because I'm DONE with people treating me like crap and using me.  I help people to recruite guilds. I can do that. I don't feel used like that as long as they try to help me as well when i do need it. it's really a given imo...  but I prefer to be asked to lead a guild and then discussed.  that's the way I was brought into co-leading and what helped me decide to even do my own guild that I had in the first place... I wish I knew then what I know now. there are things that i probably wouldn't have done... I'm just glad that he and I are cool and we're both in one of the alliances together and can actually get along! Sadly, I wish my own ex- co-lead could take a page.  She's got me on ignore - truthfully - based on assumptions without discussion, asking questions, etc.  I know partly that she listens and has listend to a manipulater - who runs another guild... And truthfully he is. People don't like him really. Right now , most like him only for his faction - he is decently smart in that, but he has been bad about taking other officers and members from other former guilds and like the other alliance that I use to be in (put as lead for weekend) ... This guy has also destroyed guilds and the ex colead is and has been blind to all of this... Believes him to be innocent completely... Even she's forgotten about him non-jokingly suggesting she drug her kids for her to play! wtf! You DO NOT DO any of that, not even suggesting, because that actually is no joke and is not funny one bit.

Yet, she still follows his every word... and you see how things worked out between us... I'm the "bad guy"... I'm "lying", because I don't want her in hzh... x-D  Funny, if I didn't want her in hzh. i could have demoted and kicked her a LONG LONG time ago... I just am so sick of piss poor assumptions on ya own friends, even though she should have known better... Imo, all that - So damn immature.   She's never worked with her guild from scratch to get anywhere really... It's amusing.  See, I had to work to get into cavalon or hzh alliances. the highest I had originally gotten was the second best town. I worked with the main alliance leads, helping them, etc. to get into the main alliance, which actually took a few months.  When went luxon. i worked with that lead alliance to learn mqsc, etc. so that when the guild joined - I could help teach it as well! That was how I had gotten into the big alliances, not just by knowing people, but knowing the things as well.  I know she knows the things, but I also know of and have known that with her main guild - it's quit doing the big "clearing" in hzh.. with her alt guild - she had no one in it doing mqsc, much less cared to teach it and moved it to a pure sc alliance, which she knew nothing about! hell, before my "hacks" I use to help teach BogSc, etc. had fun doing those as well! Her?   Faction vqing. she didn't want to learn things didn't want to help broaden the guild and i find it funny with the time I did see her do one of these scs finally - how easily she kept failing. I'm not perfect either, but it's amusing how others use to say she'd boast of how perfect she could do these things... Uh, huh...  Tell me something else amusing.   

I do miss my old toons - had a froggy on one! A bds on another! great shit too! and yea 15 titles maxed, but I was really really out to do fun more than anything.  I do still enjoy things. It's just - yes, i'm venting .. I know... I really had valued my friendship with her. I would NEVER have gotten her out of hzh, much less done what she did to me - even if she lead the guild from the get go!   I do not spike, only time I ever did ... i was in BoOM's temp guild - he had gotten his main back (I helped) and so I was put in lead - I was not used - i helped transfer all guilds over - which they all had accepted, but with curiousity more than anything (I think surprise too). Admittedly, that amused me. I had kicked out members a few at a time so he could add them all back to - most accepted... but sadly it wasn't too much longer until the banwave hit. :-(

He told me I could do whatever I wanted with the old temp - sell it, etc. it even had a full hall, but I destroyed it... so that he could have his guild and no bad naming could be harmed in the future. least of all from the temp one. It was the right thing to do.  So, did I do anything SELFISHLY as I've so seen a lot of others do... Nope.  I think so many leaders and why they have the poor rep that they do. Actually, consider things more selfishly than selflessly... I love the main guild - we get to vote on cape, etc. I had that going for my own guild. that people could submit their designs... Far as I hear, she doesn't do this. doesn't even have a site. x-D I had a site. I don't know who's paying for her vent, but she's rarely ever gotten on. Amusing, so It seems. 

I'm not perfect, but At least I respected members. talked with them things, not about what food i'm doing out of the blue, when there's another discussion (no one cared in team chat, when she did this and the rest of us were discussing something else. x-D ) It was rude, tbh.  Anyway, so tldr. I'm just glad of the following. I do respect, I try to treat others as I'd like to be treated, I am and try to be selfless - working with others. Unlike her, I know I give out tours - which helps quite a bit. I prefer doing team runs - faction scs, scs, etc. with the teams as enjoyment, rather than it be some selfish reason. I participate in helping out with events with guilds and alliances.

I'm not a rude, selfish person and anyone who likes hanging out with people like that... I have only one thing to ask you... Why? Seriously, it's negativity that's not helpful and it's not actually fun... I've seen half the time drama with these people and I work to avoid them. I don't need that negativity in my life. I always had two rules... Respect and have fun... Best simplest rules ever... She's broken them a few times.  I let it slide, because well real life of course.. it's not easy to respect, with rl troubles that i feel the game should be an escape.

It's sad though... I cared... i still do with friends, but what happens to them, what they do - is their own fault. same with her.  I'm done getting the blame card, the "bad person". Did I force people to do shit? Hell, no. Still, I'll treat others as I'd like to be treated - With Respect.

If you guys need me, just send me a message. :-)

Peace and have fun!

Also, I hope I've given some good life lessons.